So the question becomes: how do people value you? What do you have to offer that is valuable to a relationship? What is significant about your aura that makes people want to be in your presence? A friendship centered around value is an intimate one, one that reaches beyond commonalities and basic levels of being a part of someone’s life, and most of the time one that last a lifetime. A valued friend is family.

The standard you have for yourself is the way other people will acknowledge you.  People only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  When it comes to friends, these are people you have handed a certain power to.  You are the ultimate source of manipulation, deception, etc. so what happens to you in a friendship is whatever you accept, and sometimes whatever you give.

Before inquiring about the motives of others, recognize what kind of person you are, and in this case what kind of friend you are.  Challenge yourself to be the type of friend you wish to have.

-Chymere A. Hayes

Check out Pt 1 of Building Meaning Relationships

www.chymerecalifornian.blogspot.com

The post How to Build Meaningful Relationships: Value Yourself (Pt. II) appeared first on Mind of a Diva.

Hey Ladies, I truly hope that you haven been enjoy our printed pieces series, because I have! I also hope that you ladies have embraced prints into your wardrobe. Although, I truly have been enjoying and having fun with all the printed pieces that we have discussed so far, but I think I am going to have more fun speaking about this one because this is right up my ally. This would be the Printed Blouse, why is this one my favorite you ask? There is something about a blouse that just makes me feel like a boss and now I can feel like a boss in a printed and fashionable blouse (oooww.) You ladies have to excuse me, because I love being bossy! (lol) So I hope you ladies are ready to be bossy in your Printed Blouse, and while we are at it and playing with prints we are definitely going to add and play with some color, why? Because we are working with prints.

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We have some exciting news about what’s going on at Mind of a Diva. This year our goal is to add more Diva voices to Mind of a Diva so we can build a community here and learn from one another’s experiences. We’ve been working hard to add more bloggers, monthly segments, and opportunities for this to happen; and I believe that this is another piece of accomplishing that goal. Next Tuesday at 7 PM CST we will be hosting our very first Twitter chat!

On our twitter chat we will have a guest host with us to openly discuss a different topic that we as women talk and think about. We have several guest host that have already decided to join us such as LaKesha Womack, J from Up 4 Discussion, stylist Divine Styling, musician Hanz Nobe, and many more. From finances, relationships, to fashion, and more we’re going to talk about it all on Tuesday nights and would love for you to join us.

To join in on the conversation or just listen in on what we’re saying use your twitter account and search for the hashtag #MOADiva. We’ll be announcing soon who will be our first guest host will be so keep an eye on our twitter profile for more details. We’re so excited about this chat and the chance to connect with you guys and hear your thoughts!

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Next Saturday I will be participating in another wedding for a different family member. It’s going to be a lot of fun because the couple that’s getting married are childhood sweethearts, so it’s going to be cute to see this milestone in their lives. I’m looking forward to going but there’s one problem that honestly makes me nervous, my ex-boyfriend is the best man. Then to make matters more awkward, he’s bringing his new girlfriend to the wedding too.

It’s not the running into him that’s awkward for me, or even possibly meeting his girlfriend, it’s that I’ve never had to deal with that before. We broke up several years ago, so it’s not as though what happened between us is recent. I just don’t know what to do or say to him when we run into each other. Am I suppose to be nonchalant, or act like I don’t notice he’s there, do I even say hello first or wait till he approaches me? It’s just that there are so many different ways this could play out and I don’t know how to go about the whole situation.

I could be over thinking the whole thing, but since I found out that he was attending it’s been on my mind. I know that people deal with running into their exes all the time, it’s just not something I’ve ever done. So there’s no way to plan or determine what will come of this wedding day run in, I just hope that it’s not weird.

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In the real world, this is a less than desirable approach to proclaiming your freedom (and perhaps disgust) with your current job. How you handle leaving your current job speaks volumes about your character and here a few things to keep in mind if you feel it’s time to move on to something else:

• Stay dedicated until your last day. Be just as good on your last day as you were the first day. If you’ve made the commitment to work right up through the last day, then do so. It shows that you are reliable and are true to your word, traits that will need to be carried to your new job.
• Leave a mark. Leave your company better than you found it. Tie up any loose ends-emails, instant messages, phone calls and the like. Also, what can you do that will provide value to your successor? Be willing to train your replacement in order to make the transition as smooth as possible.
• Your resignation is not a jumping off point for salary negotiations. I’ve witnessed this very thing go wrong quite a few times. Using a competing offer or threatening resignation will not win the respect of your boss or coworkers. If you choose to stay with your current company this creates an awkward interaction for all parties involved. If you feel your compensation is below market, it is best to go to your boss and have an open conversation about your concerns. Strive to conduct yourself with integrity. If the company feels you are a valued employee, then they might put together a retention package for your reconsideration. If everything else is the same and money isn’t the driving force, then the additional compensation wouldn’t change your mind and you’ll know it’s time to move on.
• Exit on a positive note.   We all dislike some aspect about the company we work for and there are some things we would like to see change. Even if you dislike certain things (or everything) about your company, be sure to express your concerns in a constructive manner. There’s a difference between offering suggestions for change and lodging complaints. More importantly…think positive! You’re starting a new chapter in life-talk about your new role or life stage instead of focusing on negativity and dissatisfaction.

Contemplating a career change can be stressful and daunting. Take the time to figure out what’s best for you and your family and then take the steps necessary to provide a graceful closure to your former company.

Have you left a job recently? Is there anything you felt you could’ve handled better? Let me know your thoughts…

Danyel

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I know deep down that Big Mama wouldn’t want me to be sad about her passing. She would want me to be happy for her because she’s in a better place and living my life to the fullest. She was one of my biggest supporters and her face would light up when I would show her my writing and design work. She was so proud of me, and even though she would want me to pursue that more I just don’t know have the drive. It’s hard to imagine going on with life “as normal” without her here to be apart of it.

After talking with my parents about it they told me that I need to keep going after what I’m passionate about because that’s what she would want. I need to take it day by day and get back into my life. So for the past week I’ve been trying to make my way back, it hasn’t been easy because I still think about her, but it gets easier.

Escaping from one’s problems may not be the best thing to do, but just like having a pity party it’s okay for a while as long as you don’t make it a constant thing. The truth is that I will never forget Big Mama, and I don’t think that anyone really gets over the loss of someone they care about. It’s understandable to be sad, but now I have to use my life to honor her memory and be the woman that she knew I would be.

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Seriously ladies I have been enjoying the prints and I want you ladies to enjoy them too, so with that being said let’s put our outfit together! Of course we have already picked out the skirt which is printed with wild and crazy bright colors, now I know we are going to need a fabulous top but let’s leave the neutral colors in the closet tonight. Let’s grab that yellow top that we don’t wear so often because it’s yellow. Okay, so now we have on the yellow top and we are going crazy looking for the perfect shoe, well tonight ladies the shoe can also be yellow or black but I am feeling a little on the crazy bright side so let’s do the yellow shoe (oooowwwww).

Okay, since we now have most of the outfit together I must tell you since your top and shoe is yellow your purse and jacket have to be a color that will bring it all together and if you didn’t guess it let me tell you of course you will be grabbing the black purse tonight a long with the black blazer. The reason why I said black is because the outfit as a whole is bright which is of course a great thing but so you won’t be too bright and to blended with colors black will allow the separation with the colors and outfit which will allow people to view your outfit as a whole.

Finally ladies, we are dressed in our printed skirt and bright top and absolutely loving it, loving that it vibrant and bringing a lot of style to you. Take a second and stand in front of the mirror and just embrace the prints and then embrace the bright top. Yes ladies, I know exactly what you are feeling right now because I felt the very same thing when I put on my printed skirt and trust and believe me I was more than just the bomb, I was it, I was what’s happening!!! But You ladies take a look at how I wore my Printed Skirt and please tell me if I was what’s happening because to me I was. Remember don’t be afraid of the prints this spring and summer they are made to do vibrant things with extraordinary colors, colors that will add lots to your outfits. Don’t forget to be daring, be different and most importantly be you!

Di’Vine Styling
Email DiVineFashionStyling@Gmail.com
Bookings: BookDivineStyling@gmail.com
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Twitter @DiVineStyling

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When it was time for the family to speak, I was too emotional to talk. I let the rest of the family speak about you while I sobbed silently. We buried you on a sunny April day amongst your family. Next to your mom, dad, and siblings just like you wanted to be. As we said our last good-bye I could find the words to say. So many thoughts and memories were running through my head that day. I couldn’t imagine not talking to you, or hearing you laugh once more, or your warm hug when I come to see you.

I didn’t get to tell you what I really wanted to say, so I felt that I missed my chance until I found the courage to do it today. This may not a traditional way, or an audience of people who knew you well, but I know that you would want me to tell others about how wonderful you were.

You were more than a grandmother to me from the day that I was born. You played the role of my mom, friend, teacher throughout my life and helped me become who I am. You never gave up on me, and encouraged me all the time. You believed in my dreams even when I didn’t and knew that one day I would be something great. You taught me how to read, write, do math, better than any of my teachers would take the time to do. I owe my love to reading and writing all to you.

I will never forget the talks we had and how you told me about the world. From you I learned to be a dignified woman and to seek to learn something everyday. You taught me that I’m capable of anything, and to always put God first. Together we traveled during the summer, and I will always remember our trips. You blessed me with so many life experiences that I carry with me everyday.

Words can not express how much I truly love you. I miss you so much Big Mama, and I know that I will see you again someday.

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The relationships we enter, whether they be in the work place, with our friends, or a significant other should always promote growth.  Keeping people in your vicinity that not only allow you to progress to new levels within yourself, but also individuals who work as mirrors and reflect who you are, even on days you are unable to see that on your own, will only work in your benefit.  It will create a positive environment of inspiration, love, and elevation.  If the people you are surrounded by do the opposite, therefore causing you to question loyalty and the overall good of humanity, it is now time to reevaluate and rebuild that web of people. It’s crucial to personal development.

The saying goes that you are most like the 5 people you spend most of your time with.  Are you hanging out with people who have equal ambition and a great work ethic or are you associating with people who are goal-less and lazy?  Are they honest? Take the time to assess the people in your circle and ultimately the souls you are attached to.  This is the first step in building and maintaining meaningful relationships in your life.

The next question to ask is: Do they understand your value as a person?  Make sure you come back to mindofadiva.com this time next week for the next step!

-Chymere Anais

www.chymereanais.blogspot.com

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