Relationships

Second Chances

One thing that I find humorous about men and women is that men are typically more forgiving than women are. A guy has a disagreement with another guy, they get mad and two minutes later they are friends again. However, women will not talk to each other for years or ever again. This has made me wonder, why are men more willing to give second chances compared to women?

This thought came to me the other day when someone who was a friend contacted me about getting together. I hesitated about meeting them for the fact that our last conversation was not a good one, but something told me to go ahead and meet them. I soon realized that things could have been settled years ago, but something inside me stayed mad.

Maybe our reasoning is attached to some emotion, our ego, or that relationship wasn’t supposed to last. Nonetheless, something keeps us from moving past certain issues. Since women are more emotion based compared to men it makes sense that we would hold on to emotions like anger. Women involve their feelings and emotions in many of their relationships.

In the end when someone feels that those feelings are being jeopardized it’s possible for the view on the relationship to change.  I lost time with someone over not putting aside feelings and giving a second chance. That time is gone but the future can be different.

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3 Responses to “Second Chances”

  1. On May 11, 2010 at 7:55 pm JSin responded with... #

    Very interesting post.

    I definitely believe that men are more forgiving than women. With most men there is a scale or sometimes a list of things that will or will not be forgiven. You get one chance…and that’s it. If you commit one of those cardinal sins on the ‘never forgive this’ list then that’s all there is to it. Things that aren’t on the list may sting or hurt for a moment but with time will likely be forgiven.

    Women on the other hand, like you said, are more emotional…and as a result can be less forgiving. I PERSONALLY think it is because women take things a lot more personally than men do. When a women is wronged she may view it as an attack on her, regardless of the person’s reasoning for doing what they did. Men on the other hand may be more forgiving and understand that it wasn’t something done to intentionally hurt them, but rather the person had another reason for doing what they did and it just happened to hurt them in the process.

    In the end, each situation is different…and so is every woman and every man. The important thing is to know who you’re dealing with and what kind of person they are.

  2. On May 11, 2010 at 9:14 pm Maeg responded with... #

    I agree that when it comes to friends that guys are more forgiving. Land a punch and then go have a beer talking about who drafted who for the upcoming NFL season. There is one thing, however, that I want to point out. I have seen this time and time again where in a relationship if the guy cheats on the girl then the girl eventually forgives the guy and takes him back only to have him do it again and again and she conintually take shim back until she reaches that breaking point. When a girl cheats on a guy, the guy says forget and walks away and never looks back. Before you go and get your panties in a twist, yes, I concede that this scenario is not always the case and there are always exceptions to everything but 8 out of 10 times that is the way the situation will go down. So I agree with Diva wholeheartedly, women won’t speak to friends for the stupidest things where as guys are far better at getting past their differences.
    Oh, and I am so glad that you gave your friendship a second chance! GO DIVA!

  3. On May 11, 2010 at 9:49 pm Ha-Style responded with... #

    I think that most men are forgiving basically because most men don’t attach their emotions to a person, place, or thing unless it has some serious significance to them. most men are only focused on their goals and kinda work thru that pain by focusing on their work. Also, men just have bad memories. LOL! so its hard to remember all those emotions unless it REALLY hurt us.

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