Too Available for Our Own Good

A few months ago my friend gave me some great advice that I felt should be passed on because it really changed my perspective on handling communication within relationships. It’s funny how we view situations from the outside until we are in them ourselves. That’s when I know I need to get an outside opinion to help me step away and see the full picture.

My friend and I talked one night about this guy that I’ve been seeing because we were having problems balancing our schedules to spend time together. He has a job and is pursuing his career in his spare time, and I’m doing the same but whenever he was free I would make myself available to chill with him. By doing that all the time he started to see my career pursuits to be more flexible and not as serious as his, and that meant that he doesn’t have to put forth much effort to spend time with me.

The advice that my friend gave me was that I need to change how available I make myself. She said that when a person is always available then the other person will take them for granted because they feel as though that person will always be there. Instead she advised that I make my work and life more of a priority, get out more, and learn not to respond right away every time I hear from him.

She reminded me that a person needs to be missed every now and then because we can’t be in each others face all the time. Missing a call, text, or opportunity to hang out will not be the end of the world, it will just make the times that we can get together more valuable and worthwhile.

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6 Responses to “Too Available for Our Own Good”

  1. On May 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm Sunny responded with... #

    I think I need to take this advice, so thanks for sharing. I know I’m a person who does that a lot and sometimes that’s not good at all.

    • On May 26, 2012 at 1:18 am jenndiva responded with... #

      It’s something that I’m learning the hard way because I like to be there for the other person. Plus I feel bad about not responding or missing anyone’s call. So it’s taking me some time to adjust, but in the short time that I’ve done it I’ve seen some improvements in the relationship. It’s definitely worth it.

  2. On May 22, 2012 at 2:50 am C. responded with... #

    Great advice!! Definitely something I could apply to my dating life as well…


    • On June 21, 2012 at 10:07 am jenndiva responded with... #

      I’m happy to hear that! I know that this has helped me a lot since I started to apply it to my dating life.

  3. On August 10, 2012 at 8:54 am Lamont Jackson responded with... #

    I think it is something that both male and female need to realize.

    • On June 9, 2013 at 8:50 pm jenndiva responded with... #

      I definitely agree with that. This is a subject that can go both ways in a relationship.

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